You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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