He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
