I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
