He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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