You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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