She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We left an ass print on the piano.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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