Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
