I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I smell like Dick and happiness
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
