Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
