Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
