So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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