Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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