I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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