So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
