belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
