VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
