We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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