So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
third nipple confirmed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
