I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My pussy is not your playground.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
