3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
