Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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