he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
