They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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