Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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