if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
