My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
