new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
