I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
