you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize