I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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