come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize