forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
