why do cheetos always look like penises
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
