Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
