does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize