I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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