one might say we're banned from that church
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
