just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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