I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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