my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this will be a night to untag.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
