Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
