So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize