ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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