escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize