David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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