with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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