got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
