with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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