Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize