Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
