I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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