what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have aggressive nipples.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
