I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
