my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
