So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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