So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
