he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
