You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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