When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
