That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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