All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
