I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
